Information on the Poop Senders Investigation

Since some — actually quite a few — crimes seem to get swept under the carpet or lost completely by incompetent investigators in Coeymans, and selectively prosecuted — depending on who you are or whom you know — by the Albany County District Attorney, P. David Soares,  we thought we’d help this one along. This case is so obscene, it has to be thoroughly investigated and the perps identified, apprehended, prosecuted, sentenced, and publicly shamed!

Read the first article on this case at: Coeymans Only Gets Sicker; Criminal Perps Being Investigated

Can Contento handle the case? We doubt it!
Better call in the Girl Scouts; they’ll do a better job!

Can Law Enforcement, Coeymans Police and the Albany County DA even spell the word?

The Facts

On or about November 13, 2019, a person or persons yet to be identified, made a purchase from the online vendor poopsenders.com, and caused to be mailed via the United States Postal Service, at least 5 packages containing feces of an unspecified species, to addresses in the Town of Coeymans.

This sums up the perps.
Poop-in-a-Bag

The Vendor[1]

The seller of the product sent by first class mail via the United States Postal Service operates a business from an Internet site at poopsenders.com, and offers for sale a variety of animal by-products, namely, feces, which for payment the company will send by United States Postal Service, to recipients, whose names and addresses are provided by the purchaser of the product, namely animal feces.

The seller of the product packages the product for shipment but does not indicate on the shipping container that the container contains hazardous, dangerous, or offensive material.

The container containing the product is sent in a plain white envelope with no indication of its contents, and is apparently mailed via general mail-handling channels. The package shows a tracking number, which can be used to track the package en route, up to the point of delivery of the package.

The seller’s Internet site clearly states on its home page that their product is:

• “The Ultimate Gag Gift
• “Sweet Revenge At Its Finest
• “Guaranteed Anonymous”

The words in that description “gag,” “revenge,” “anonymous” are key to an understanding of the intent and purpose of the product.

The Seller’s Guarantee[2]

The seller allegedly promises that the purchaser/sender will remain “guaranteed anonymous,” that Poop Senders will “NOT” let the recipient know who sent the package, and even offers a cash payment option to avoid tracing the purchase. In that same section Poop Senders acknowledges that the product they will send will be “a healthy heap of some of the nastiest, stinkiest, fresh poop packages that anyone has ever seen.” The seller finishes with the statement, “We will never tell.” Well, both Poop Senders and their clients are in for a big surprise!

ONLY COWARDS DO IT ANONYMOUSLY

The Seller’s Reasons for Sending their Product[3]

The seller lists at least ten (10) reasons for sending their product:

1. For your ex
2. Neighbors pet crapping on your lawn
3. For your mean boss
4. For a salesperson or mechanic that ripped you off
5. A Last minute gift for someone who has everything
6. A gag gift
7. For that rich gloating friend, knock them down a peg
8. To the teacher that gave your son/daughter a poor grade
9. Some one left you a negative review or feedback
10. You just don’t like them

At least eight (8) out of the ten (10) reasons for sending the seller’s product are obviously with the intent to punish, intimidate, offend, alarm, or otherwise annoy the recipient; in other words, at least eight (8) out of ten (10) reasons published by the seller are for the ostensible purpose of harassing the recipient.

The seller publishes on their website testimonials that are obviously meant to emphasize the adverse intent of the product. Examples of some of the statements made include:[4]

• “This is a gift that every asshole neighbor should get.”
• “I sent one to my jackass brother in law and the whole family found out about it and they are all teasing him. He doesn’t know who it came from. He’s so pissed off its great.”
• ‘[I] have already sent out 3 “poop packages” and the shit is just starting to fly.”

The published “testimonials” published on the seller’s website clearly prove that the seller is aware of the intentions of the individuals purchasing their product and clearly uses that information as a motivation for purchasing the product, that is, for the purpose of punishing, intimidating, offending, alarming, or otherwise annoying the recipient.

The fact that the seller emphasizes the value of anonymity in perpetrating the harassment is further proof of the seller’s intent to facilitate the commission of the criminal behavior by the purchaser, and not only facilitates the commission of the unlawful and criminal acts but explicitly encourages the commission of the unlawful and criminal acts.

The seller uses anonymity or the guarantee of anonymity to further promote the sale and purchase of their product, thus accomplishing the purpose of selling their product by encouraging unlawful and asocial behavior in persons who may be prone to such behavior but would avoid the behavior out of a fear of social shame if found out; the promise of anonymity claims to remove the risk of shame, and so removes a powerful deterrent to asocial and unlawful conduct, thus encouraging, promoting, and facilitating such conduct.

The price ranges from 1 quart of cow dung for $17.95 + $9.95 S/H to $249.95 + 19.95 S/H for a 5-lb special package. The package sent to the Coeymans recipients are believed to be 1 quart cow dung packages ($17.95 + $9.95).

Criminals at the Computer.

The seller’s FAQs further confirm their encouragement of anonymity as well as the offensive nature of the product they offer:

“Does it have to be anonymous?
“Yes. We guarantee it. Now if you want to wait about a week after ordering your package and call or e-mail that special someone and ask them if they just got a special package that is up to you, but rest assured we will never tell. Want to be extra careful? Pay with our cash option where you mail in the order form (or just number) and payment.”

“Is it real poop?
“Only the mad scientist that packs this stuff in the back room knows for sure and he wouldn’t tell us, but we do know this, it really smells bad back there, he is mixing up shit, and he does visit the local dairy farm and zoo about twice a week. (We also don’t want the delivery company to actually know what kind of shit they’re delivering.) We can assure you that it looks nasty and really stinks. It will get the point across to your intended victim.”

The seller provides legal advise, although they are not attorneys, as to the legality of their operations and practices:

“Is this legal?
“Yes and we’ve been in business since 2007. Sending an anonymous non-hazardous package through the US Postal Service is indeed legal. Please review our legal page for more information.”

The statement in the above FAQ is misleading because it states a truth but in a misleading manner, because animal feces is hazardous both physically and psychologically, and the seller is sending such material through the United States Postal Service.

Moreover, despite the clear and conspicuous intent of the seller’s product and the content of the testimonials, which explicitly state the unlawful intent of the product, the seller provides a “disclaimer,” which does not eliminate the seller’s liability and would have no legal effect given the overwhelming evidence of the seller’s intent and the purchasers’ stated intended effects in the testimonials section of the website.

The Unlawful, Illegal, and Asocial Nature of the Product

We believe that the seller knowingly sells a product whose sole purpose and intent is to annoy, alarm, intimidate, offend the recipient of the product. That intent is clearly stated by the seller to be “revenge,” and the seller explicitly lists at least ten examples of situations in which the clear intent of sending the product is to punish, annoy, intimidate, offend, etc. the recipient for no objectively lawful purpose.

The contents of the package is animal feces, that is, an animal waste product that is potentially hazardous to the health and well-being not only of the recipient but also of the USPS employees handling or coming in contact with the package. The product is hazardous.

The postal service employees and the recipient are not provide with due notice of the nature of the contents and are therefore knowingly put at risk by both the seller/sender and the purchaser of the product.

The sending of hazardous or potentially hazardous material via the United States Postal Service is a priori unlawful and criminal, unless there is compliance with the relevant regulations. There is no evidence of any compliance whatsoever. The sending of hazardous or potentially hazardous material via the United States Postal Service with the clear intention of committing a crime is egregiously and aggravatingly criminal.

Given the clear and explicit statements of the seller on their website, the product’s primary intention is to annoy, intimidate, offend, or otherwise elicit an adverse reaction in the recipient; the seller guarantees that effect in order to encourage the purchaser to purchase the seller’s product for the ostensible purpose of annoying, offending, intimidating, or, as stated in the seller’s published material, as “revenge.” The purchaser purchases the seller’s product with the intent of eliciting the guaranteed effects.

The seller further entraps the potential purchaser by ensuring anonymity.

The seller states they they “ship only to [sic] the Continental United States.” The seller ships via the USPS across state lines, that is, engages in interstate commerce of hazardous or potentially hazardous materials. In the present case, the seller shipped across state borders, that is, from a location in Pennsylvania to locations in New York state.

The Criminal Codes of New York State and the State of Pennsylvania

Both New York and Pennsylvania have in their Criminal Codes provisions describing the crime of harassment.

The New York State criminal code, NY Penal L § 240.30, describes the crime of misdemeanor aggravated harassment as

“240.30 Aggravated harassment in the second degree.

A person is guilty of aggravated harassment in the second degree when, with intent to harass, annoy, threaten or alarm another person, he or she:
she:
Either (a) communicates with a person, anonymously or otherwise, by telephone, by telegraph, or by mail, or by transmitting or delivering any other form of written communication, in a manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm; or

(b) causes a communication to be initiated by mechanical or electronic means or otherwise with a person, anonymously or otherwise, by telephone, by telegraph, or by mail, or by transmitting or delivering any other form of written communication, in a manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm.

The Pennsylvania criminal code, Title 18, § 2709. Harassment.

(a) Offense defined.–A person commits the crime of harassment when, with intent to harass, annoy or alarm another, the person:
(3) engages in a course of conduct or repeatedly commits acts which serve no legitimate purpose;
(4) communicates to or about such other person any lewd, lascivious, threatening or obscene words, language, drawings or caricatures;
(5) communicates repeatedly in an anonymous manner;

The seller and the purchaser of the seller’s product have perpetrated and committed or have caused to be perpetrated or committed, or are accessories to the perpetration or commission of misdemeanor harassment under the criminal statutes of both New York and Pennsylvania.

The Primary Suspects

As in any investigation, an investigator must take into consideration motive, motivation, purpose, intent, knowledge, pattern, previous conduct, etc. and form a list of persons who would be most likely to perpetrate the unlawful acts.

Given the contentious conduct of the Comeback Team candidates and their close association and alliances with the so-called Friends of Coeymans principals, we feel that the following individuals are and should be considered primary suspects in the present situation:

The Whole Community Knows Who is Behind This Atrocity!

Boomer

Nathan P. Boomer (Friends of Coeymans)
212 Biechman Road
Ravena, NY 12046

Hagen

Christopher J. Hagen (Friends of Coeymans)
32 Lindskoog Road
Alcove, NY 12007

LaQuire

Jeffrey Laquire (Friends of Coeymans)
11 Albright Court
Ravena, NY 12143

Collins

Zachary Collins (Comeback Team)
898 Route 143
[Coeymans Hollow]
Ravena, NY 12143

Lefevre

Brendan Lefevre (Comeback Team)
250 Buschendorf Road
[Coeymans Hollow, Parent’s Basement]
Ravena, New York 12143

McHugh

George D. McHugh (Comeback Team)
100 Lawson Lake Road
Feura Bush, NY 12067

The tactics and publications of the principals, organizers, and administrators of the Friends of Coeymans, serve to evidence that the purchase and sending of the packages in question is not something that can be easily or otherwise ruled out, since such conduct would be easily presumed from the group’s paste and ongoing practices and tactics. Such harassment would be completely in the character and repertoire of the group given their pattern of harassment, bullying, disruption, degradation, and annoyance of persons, whom they have targeted.

Given the close association and the support derived by the so-called Comeback Team, that is, the candidates in the most recent local elections, George McHugh, Zachary Collins, and Brendan Lefevre, their knowledge of and concealment of the unlawful conduct of the primary suspects cannot be ruled out.

Law Enforcement Investigation of the Criminal Activities

The Coeymans Police Department has been notified, and the victims who received the offending packages at Coeymans Town Hall have turned over the packages received at Coeymans Town Hall to the Coeymans Police for investigation.

Have the Coeymans Police Interviewed the Friends of Coeymans or the Comeback Team?

Given the current state of facts in the Town of Coeymans, we expect that the Coeymans Police have called at least the primary suspects in for questioning; furthermore, we expect that in the interest of efficient police work, the members of the Comeback Team have been interviewed and questioned as to their knowledge of any facts relevant to the unlawful acts.

We expect that any interviews or interrogations have been duly documented for the record as part of the investigation process.

The Albany County District Attorney, P. David Soares, as the chief law-enforcement officer in the County of Albany, must be informed and an investigation initiated through his office.

The Allegheny District Attorney, Stephen A. Zappala, Jr., should be notified and his office requested to collaborate with the office of the Albany County DA, in the investigation of the seller’s activities in Pennsylvania. The offices of Albany County and Allegheny County DA must collaborate and cooperate in a joint effort to identify, apprehend, and prosecute the offenders in this case.

The United States Postal Service Inspection Divisions responsible for and competent in Albany County (NY) and Allegheny County (PA) must be notified and requested to assist in the investigation of the unlawful conduct in this case. The Coeymans Police Department must be proactive in requesting the assistance of the United States Postal Service Inspection Division.

The perpetrators, both the seller and the purchaser(s) of the product(s), must be charged with various counts of criminal activity including but not limited to, misdemeanor harassment under the criminal codes of New York and Pennsylvania, violations of interstate commerce, violations of the USPS regulations regarding the use of the mail (1) to send hazardous or dangerous materials and (2) the use of the United States Postal Service and the mail in the commission of a crime, endangerment of the health and safety of not only the recipients of the packages but also of the USPS employees handling the packages or coming in contact with the packages.

THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE, SICKO-S!

Notes:

[1] For the purposes of this document, the vendor or the seller or shipper of the offending product is called “Poop Senders,” and the information cited in this document is extracted from the “Poop Senders” Internet site at https://www.poopsenders.com/ (last accessed on November 23, 2019). According to the return address shown on the shipping container, Poop Senders uses the moniker A.S. Enterprises located at P.O. Box 572, Allison Park, Pennsylvania 15101. The origin of the packages has been confirmed using the USPS tracking number appearing on the shipping package.

[2] The seller makes a number of “guarantee” claims: “Guaranteed Anonymous” (https://www.poopsenders.com/#order, last accessed on November 23, 2019), “Frequently Asked Questions” https://www.poopsenders.com/faq, last accessed on November 23, 2019).

[3] “Top 10 Reasons to Send Someone Poop!” (https://www.poopsenders.com/#order, lass accessed on November 23, 2019).

[4] “Testimonials” (https://www.poopsenders.com/testimonials, last accessed on November 23, 2019).